It’s the final post for wedding week – I’ve blogged about all the simple details from the big day (see the posts here, here and here), now I’m going to share everything I’ve learnt in the process of planning my minimalist wedding. Hopefully it will help simplify things if you’re in the midst of planning your own wedding, whatever that day looks like for you and your style. With all the things to think about, it’s easy to lose sight of what you first wanted for the day and feel like the planning (and budget) is getting out of control. But by taking a considered approach, and knowing what to prioritise and where to save, you can have a wedding that’s stylish and designed especially for you.
When I first started planning my wedding, I would look through Pinterest and beautiful wedding images and think I’m never going to be able to achieve that; there’s just so much to do! It was overwhelming at the beginning and I didn’t know if it would all come together. It did and it was wonderful, and to be honest I still can’t believe it happened. What really helped, though, was honing in on my style, focusing on us (and not worrying about what other people would think) and taking things step by step. In this blog post I share my practical tips.
– Make a list of your key priorities for the day and rate your must-haves against some of the things you could probably do without, so you can work out where to save and where to splurge. We chose to put all our budget into the food and catering as we love eating out and wanted our guests to have a really beautiful meal (meaning we scrimped on a DJ and drinks), but some people might prioritise a really good band, or have fewer people at a more expensive venue.
– Also think about your values as a couple, so that you can create a day that really reflects you both. We’re a fairly quiet, chilled out couple who don’t like being the centre of attention, so we wanted the wedding to feel relaxed, laid-back and intimate. Everything from the slightly rough around the edges venue with its artfully peeling paint to the sharing plates, flickering candlelight and homemade natural linen napkins helped set that mood.
– Everyone will have their opinion but keep remembering it’s your wedding, not their’s. We felt a lot of pressure both being only children. But you’ll feel more at ease on the day if you focus on what you want, not what you think you should do. Instead of a traditional top table, we had an informal set-up just like all the other tables in the room, with our best friends rather than family. Our parents didn’t really mind in the end and they still got their time with us during other moments in the wedding.
– A supplier might say that something’s not possible, but it likely is if you really want it. Rethink traditions and curate your own day. I’m not a fan of teeny little canapés, you never get any and you’re starving by the main meal. Instead, we combined the cost of canapés and a starter to create what the caterer called a ‘walking starter’ – it was basically a big grazing table with lots of mezze style nibbles that people could help themselves to. Lots of people come to a wedding without having a proper lunch and then they’re drinking lots of alcohol, so we wanted to serve something that was generous and substantial. We then went in to dinner for the main course and dessert.
– Start a spreadsheet from the very beginning – communication and good organisation is key, especially when there’s two of you with different roles for different things. We used Google documents but I’m sure there’s some great websites or apps just for wedding planning. Track every expense even if it’s just a few pounds on some paperclips for the menus. Also stick to the same system – Olivier liked drop down menus, I liked colour coding…
– Take things step by step and break down wedding admin into bitesize chunks. I tried to set aside an hour after work two to three times a week so it didn’t all feel like we were doing a mammoth task all at once.
– At the same time, even though it might be stressful, try to enjoy the process with your other half. Hopefully, all things being well, you’ll only do this once. The anticipation is all part of the fun – make a wedding playlist, print off some photos of you both as children or when you first met and pin them on a display board for guests to laugh at, spend some time remembering all the best bits of your time so far together. Remember you’re a team.
– Create a mood board with your initial inspiration, it could be a folder of images or a Pinterest board. Once you’ve decided what you want your wedding to look like, put your blinkers on and don’t be tempted to go back to Pinterest. A few weeks before our wedding I was having a browse and suddenly saw all these complex decorations and intricate ideas – ooh, maybe I need a donut table, or a sweet cart, or a wall of cacti as a table plan, I thought. No, you don’t need any of it – just like with an interior project, stick to your initial vision and keep coming back to that mood board.
– Think about a colour scheme and try to keep to a theme to give focus to the day. Our colour palette was grey, black, white and green – the invites and menus were grey, the dresses were white, the place names and cutlery were black, and the flowers even had small elements of black with the chocolate cosmos. It just helps give a common thread and sense of intention to everything.
– Keep checking in with your suppliers and make sure they all know what they’re doing. Show your florist or photographer some examples of wedding photos you like so that they can get an idea of your style. I also made a list of must-have shots so my photographer knew exactly what to capture. She had some pins on her phone to refer back to if we got stuck for ideas for photos on the day.
– To help with costs, think about the things that you can borrow or the things you already have. If you’re anything like my friends, all getting married around the same time, they’ll likely have candles, baskets, and in our case, even lucky white umbrellas you can put to good use.
– Flex your DIY muscles too – we also saved some money by making our own welcome signs and sewing napkins from a big roll of fabric. I did my own makeup and went to my local hairdresser for a standard blow dry the morning of the wedding. I’ve even known some brides go to the flower market the day before and do their own flowers!
– Organising a wedding takes a village. Rope in friends, bridesmaids, groomsmen for little tasks and don’t be afraid to ask for help. My mum and her friend as well as my aunt made confetti by drying rose petals, while my bridesmaids helped set the tables and put out decorations with me.
– Details make a wedding but you don’t need to go overboard. Small things can easily add up. In reality, guests just want to be fed, watered and have a good time. They won’t notice if there’s no wedding favours on the table or if there’s no photo booth.
– If like us, you need to supply all the crockery and glassware, take a less is more approach and only have the bare essentials on the table. It will help to save money and you’ll end up with a more minimalist look. For instance, a charger plate is just a fancy plate that sits under the starter plate and gets taken away unused anyway. We had just one wine glass on the table rather than two, thinking that if someone wanted to change from white to red, they could just finish their glass and pour into the same one.
– I did a simple mock-up of the wedding table before the wedding on my own dining table – it helped me visualise it and reassured me that it would look the part.
– You also don’t need lots of fancy, expensive decorations – a few jam jars of fresh flowers, lots of candles and some fairy lights (which you might already have) strung up do a great job in instantly transforming a space and making it feel inviting and atmospheric.
– In line with our minimalist values, we didn’t have a wedding list/gift registry. With lots of people travelling from France, we felt that our guests would likely have spent a substantial amount just getting to the wedding already. We also already feel so lucky to have a beautiful home and be able to afford to have a lovely wedding, that we didn’t feel we needed anything else on top. Instead we chose two charities (Shelter and Habitat for Humanity) and asked people to donate if they fancied it.
– Being super organised, I made a spreadsheet with timings and tasks for everyone in the wedding party that I printed off and gave to them before the big event. It helps for everyone to have a clear idea of what they have to do, even if it’s a small thing such as calling out the names of people to come for portraits with the photographer.
– Unless you’ve got a wedding planner organising things with military precision, the day might not be perfect, but you’ll have a bloody good time. After so much planning and thinking, it felt good to relax on the day and not worry, leaving the caterers to their job and bridesmaids and groomsmen to tell people what was happening next if they asked. I didn’t even bother topping up my makeup or reapplying lipstick – I was so happy I didn’t really care what I looked like. Everyone will be having such a wonderful time, they won’t notice if things don’t go according to plan, if the timings are a bit out or if something’s not quite as you envisioned it.
– One excellent tip I had from someone was to sure you set aside a little moment with your other half. You’re so busy chatting to everyone else that the day can go by in the blink of an eye and you’ve hardly said anything to each other. Take 5 or 10 minutes away from everyone else, including the photographer, to breathe and take it all in together. We had the car journey from the church to the venue, then a few minutes before guests arrived and then some more time as everyone was going into the dining room and getting seated.
– The planning will all be worth it on the day and your guests will be the first to notice all the care and thought that has gone into everything. On the day, just enjoy everything you’ve achieved. It will no doubt be wonderful.
What was the biggest lesson you learnt from planning your wedding? Do you have any tips to add?
Supplier details:
Reception venue: West Horsley Place
Photographer: Tania Joy Gault
Bride’s dress: Bon Bride
Groom’s Suit: Burberry
Bridesmaid dresses: Sézane
Flowers: Worm London
Caterer: Rhubarb
Cake: Scrumptious Catering
Menus: Nat’s Paper Studio
Napkin fabric: Wonder Linen
Table hire: Virginias Vintage Hire
Prop (tableware, glassware, cutlery) hire: Classic Crockery
Artificial candles: Amazon [affiliate link]
Drinks: Vinatis
Sign printing: Online Reprographics
