Never have our homes had to work harder to support us. Before the global pandemic had us retreating home, it was estimated we spend around 90% of ours lives indoors. If that was the case then, it’s probably nearer 99% almost one year later! We now find ourselves doing everything within the confines of the same familiar four walls – we get up, go to work, homeschool children, cook, clean, relax and unwind, then do it all again, seemingly over and over.
But in doing so, perhaps it’s natural to fall a little out of love with our homes. The familiar comfort and pleasure of being at home gets tainted by the mundane and banal stresses of our daily lives. I used to relish an evening spent at home, with no plans to be anywhere, basking in the joy of missing out. Now there’s nothing to miss out on and all the nights in start to feel a bit the same.
Some might enjoy this period of forced hibernation, a chance to retreat from the world and reflect. But in order to not just endure, but surrender to and thoroughly flourish during this time spent at home, I think we need to bring a little magic back. It’s easy for our brains to naturally focus attention on the flaws and frustrations in our home, but I believe there’s plenty of little things we can do that all together can add up to help us feel happier at home. In today’s post I’m sharing a few suggestions that have helped distract my mind and bring me comfort. Think of it like self care for the home.
I know these things may seem trivial – they’re not going to fix the world’s biggest problems – but every little helps. If your home can be curated so as to boost your mood, then you’ll be getting off on the right track when you wake up everyday.
1. Reframe how you view your surroundings
With so much time spent at home, we start to notice the negatives so much more than the positives – the wall colour we no longer love, the light fitting we need to fix, the crack creeping up the wall, the uncomfortable chair we have to sit in. This can be further cemented in our minds when we scroll through Instagram and see an endless stream of beautiful homes (that’s another story but homes don’t look like that everyday!). No home is perfect and instead it pays to take a softer, more light hearted approach. In therapy they say talk to yourself like you’re talking to a friend, and the same can be said for our homes. Instead of criticising, offer your home your compassion. Forget material objects and focus on all things you’re grateful your home has given you. That might be laughter around the dinner table, a warm embrace at the end of the day, a cuddle on the sofa or the sense of safety you get when you fall asleep.
2. Nurture something
I believe nature has the power to uplift, whether it’s a surprise bunch of flowers delivered to your door or an invigorating walk in the park. Plants have been shown to reduce stress levels and improve productivity in work spaces. One study even found that sleeping in a wooden bed can reduce your heart rate. Nurturing a plant, no matter how small, can give you something to focus on and look after. Everyday you might notice little changes in its growth – a stalk sprouting, a bud blooming – until you feel a sense of achievement when it finally flourishes and comes to life. At the moment I’m enjoying filling the house with Spring bulbs, they start off as tight green nibs then slowly transform into the most powerful scent. They remind me that Spring is just around the corner, and with it the offer of hope and light.
3. Use scent to promote feelings of comfort and familarity
In last weekend’s Guardian, I was reading about ‘sick home’ syndrome. Oxford professor Charles Spence described how the olfactory ambience of our homes – from whiffs of the rubbish bin to mould and mildew – can cause symptoms including mental fatigue, headaches, nose irritation and itchy skin. I hadn’t truly appreciated the impact scent can have. Keep your home happy and healthy by filling it with scents that uplift and bring you joy. I know sometimes when I light a certain candle when I work it can help me focus, while another might set the scene for an evening of relaxation. Scent can transport us to more contented times and faraway places, having the power to evoke memories and reflections. Think about a time when you were truly happy and see what sort of smells it conjures up.
4. Treat everyday moments as special occasions
We probably all fall into the pattern of using the same mug everyday, sitting at the same place at the dinner table and getting stuck into the same routine. Sometimes it helps to take yourself out of that cycle and give mundane moments a little element of surprise. Light a candle while you’re having breakfast, lay a tablecloth for dinner and use the best china, have a picnic on the living room rug or even have a ‘night away’ and sleep in the spare room!
5. Start the weekend in the right way
For me, there’s nothing better than getting into a freshly made bed and feeling the soft linen against my skin. It’s even better when you do all your chores on a Friday afternoon, allowing you to wake up on Saturday without anything hanging over your head. It gives you the freedom to enjoy your home without having to do things that might take the joy out of your weekend. You can then simply appreciate your home at its best. It’s not often possible to have a full blitz, but it’s amazing how much better it feels to come down to a clean kitchen than see a pile of washing up in the sink on Saturday morning. I always feel a bit better after a quick tidy, if I live in a tidy space, it helps me feel that I can tackle anything. It just seems to free up space in my mind, so I can sit down, relax and not have a million and one jobs staring me in the face.
6. Rearrange your furniture
When I was a child, my favourite thing to do was rearrange my room. It brought me so much joy and I would be so proud when I could show my endeavours to my mum at the end of the day! I can’t quite do the same now – there’s only so many positions you can have a large corner sofa – but a quick reshuffle can do wonders for a space. It can help you see it in a new light and bring a new perspective to the familiar. Change things up – it might be a simple as moving the art around, reorganising your shelves or swapping unloved objects for new finds. For a small moment, you see your home with fresh eyes, as someone might if they were visiting for the first time.
7. Declutter and get rid of excess baggage
Recently I was working with a client who was passionate about Feng Shui and I learnt so much! One thing Feng Shui advises is minimising the clutter you store under your bed as it can represent your life’s baggage, blocking you from sleeping well. A well-balanced, Feng-Shui-inspired bedroom needs to allow the air and energy to freely flow around the bed. It got me thinking of all the other things that might be holding us back. Every so often it can help to reassess your surroundings and let go of the things that are no longer bringing meaning to your life. It can feel so freeing when you finally let go of certain material objects, opening up space in your life for the things that really bring you happiness. I love the sense of achievement I get after a good old declutter, it helps me feel calm and in control, when everything else outside is going to chaos.
8. Create a corner in your home just for you
We now likely associate our home with work and endless chores but it can help to create a space that’s outside of these two boundaries. Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish – I try to do one thing each day just for myself, not for anyone else or because I have to, such as reading a book or meditating for 15 minutes. And really that’s not selfish at all. It helps restore my mind and refill my batteries again. It could just be five minutes. I know it’s hard to keep on top of everything in lockdown and a home can easily fall into disarray, but try to create at least one nice corner just for you. This could be a place where you do something that brings you joy. In the first lockdown I set up a table with a jigsaw in the bedroom; it was somewhere I could escape to, look out the window and not think about all my worries. But it could also be a corner where you might get creative and draw, a comfy spot with a floor cushion where you can meditate, or an armchair that you earmark as your own.
So those are the things that have helped ease me through lockdown and appreciate my home with renewed gratitude. I would love to know what things have brought you comfort? What helps you feel happier at home?
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